Mikot's Mind

The reason why its so hard to be me is because I cant be anybody else even for a single moment, and that nobody could live my life for me,.. at least not the way i do... this is life...i guess..

I used to be afraid of so many things, that I'd never grow up, that I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity, that my dreams would forever be shy of my reach, it's true what they say, time plays tricks on you. One day you’re dreaming the next your dream has become your reality and now that the scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. Because there are things, that I wanted to tell her, to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be okay. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are will become an increasingly rare occurrence friends and family, these people who contributed to who I am they are with me where ever I go. And as history gets rewritten in smalls way with each passing day my love for them only grows, because the truth is it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticizes the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something. We were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all. That time our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear that's exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt

Sometimes, life pushes you hard until you get too far and you don’t know where you are anymore and the only thing that’s left to do is find your way but often times, doing so will only get you farther.

 My life was like that. Last time I remember everything was in motion and under my control. I exactly knew where I was going and where to begin but now I seem so lost and nothing seems to be moving to the direction I wanted. I am on a free-fall directly to god-knows-what. 

 I remember being accepted to a Law school right after college, I wasn’t actually sure if that’s what I really wanted but there’s nothing else left to do. No board exams, no job opportunity. I may be there for the wrong reasons at the moment, but I felt like I was where I’m supposed to be. I felt a great sense of purpose. It was the first time that I exactly knew where I am going. But I was fooling my self, of course. The truth is, it was the first time that people expected something from me. It was the first time they thought I was going somewhere and because they considered it, I believed in it. So I set out to prove a point, that they are right in trusting me on this one.

 But like everything else, law school wasn’t so much of what I expected. It only took me so far. The only thing that turned out as expected was that I messed up. And before I knew it, I was giving up and by that it means I was back to the same old me, lost, without a place to take refuge. The only thing I have to do is find a way back or better yet, a way out.

 I could take the easiest way out and just forget Law school and maybe look for a job in mass communication which is related to my degree. That simple. But if I do that I will always be the loser who walked away, head down.  I will be that for the rest of my life. Or I could fight back, give it my best shot and see what happens. But with that, there’s no knowing what’s next.  Things could either turn good or bad. There’s neither certainty nor assurance.

 This has started as a good step for me but it seems that I didn’t try hard enough to keep it up until the end. I am now on that moment where you can’t see where you’re going and where you’re from anymore. This is the moment where there’s nothing left but the ground you stand on and it can’t hold you long enough so you have to take another step quickly. Question is, where to?  This is the moment when after a long journey you couldn’t even recognize yourself, you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see. I’ve gone too far and I don’t know if I can go any farther. 

 Law school, I’ve come to realize, is a battlefield where only few survives. What defines your chance of survival? Determination? Strength?  Or intellectual capacity? I can’t be so sure.  If there are things I am sure of about Law school, it’s that it is no place for cowards; that if I walk away now there will be no turning back and I will see myself as a war casualty for the rest of my life.  

 If asked, I could make up many excuses why I didn’t make it, that’s easy. As always, I could tell people that it wasn’t what I wanted, that I was there by chance and that I was just passing through. People might believe me and I might believe myself if I’d say that, but there will always be a part me that would admit that the real reason was that I always fail at the end, no matter how good I started. People used to believe that anyway. But for once, I want to change that.

 What if, I am not here by chance but by choice, that this has what I’ve always wanted but I was just afraid to take the risks. What if, all these years of my existence I’ve been hiding behind a comfort zone because I can’t accept failure, that maybe the reason why I always walked away in every battle is because I was afraid that in the end I am not the one standing with victory, That maybe I was always making excuses for everything I’ve ever done because it’s better than admitting I’m scared I might not make it.

 It’s time, I think, to give my self a new challenge. I haven’t done that before. And that challenge is to keep my feet steady while I figure things out. Life may have been pushing me harder each day but I’ve become braver and wiser.  For me, this is a new horizon to explore. If this path I’m choosing would only lead me farther, nobody knows. But for once, I am not walking away. I may not be one of the last persons standing in this battle but I’d be putting up a good fight with my head held high.

 

Life had been pushing me hard until I got too far and I don’t know where I was anymore and the only thing I could do is find my way. Between finding either a way back or way out? I’ve decided to find my way back. After all, I still have a point yet to be proven.  

Ruth Handler watched her daughter Barbara play with paper dolls, and noticed that she often enjoyed giving them adult roles. At the time, most children's toy dolls were representations of infants. Realizing that there could be a gap in the market, Handler suggested the idea of an adult-bodied doll to her husband Elliot, a co-founder of the Mattel toy company. He was unenthusiastic about the idea, as were Mattel's directors.

During a trip to Europe in 1956 with her children Barbara and Kenneth, Ruth Handler came across a German toy doll called Bild Lilli.^[1] The adult-figured doll was exactly what Handler had in mind, so she purchased three of them. She gave one to her daughter and took the others back to Mattel. The Lilli doll was based on a popular character appearing in a comic strip drawn by Reinhard Beuthin for the newspaper Die Bild-Zeitung. Lilli was a blonde bombshell, a working girl who knew what she wanted and was not above using men to get it. The Lilli doll was first sold in Germany in 1955, and although it was initially sold to adults, it became popular with children who enjoyed dressing her up in outfits that were available separately.

Upon her return to the United States, Handler reworked the design of the doll (with help from engineer Jack Ryan) and the doll was given a new name, Barbie, after Handler's daughter Barbara. The doll made its debut at the American International Toy Fair in New York on March 9, 1959. This date is also used as Barbie's official birthday.

Mattel acquired the rights to the Bild Lilli doll in 1964 and production of Lilli was stopped. The first Barbie doll wore a black and white zebra striped swimsuit and signature topknot ponytail, and was available as either a blonde or brunette. The doll was marketed as a "Teen-age Fashion Model," with her clothes created by Mattel fashion designer Charlotte Johnson. The first Barbie dolls were manufactured in Japan, with their clothes hand-stitched by Japanese homeworkers. Around 350,000 Barbie dolls were sold during the first year of production.

Ruth Handler believed that it was important for Barbie to have an adult appearance, and early market research showed that some parents were unhappy about the doll's chest, which had distinct breasts. Barbie's appearance has been changed many times, most notably in 1971 when the doll's eyes were adjusted to look forwards rather than having the demure sideways glance of the original model.

Barbie was one of the first toys to have a marketing strategy based extensively on television advertising, which has been copied widely by other toys. It is estimated that over a billion Barbie dolls have been sold worldwide in over 150 countries, with Mattel claiming that three Barbie dolls are sold every second.

The standard range of Barbie dolls and related accessories are manufactured to approximately 1/6 scale, which is also known as playscale. The standard dolls are approximately 11 1/2 inches tall.

Barbie products include not only the range of dolls with their clothes and accessories, but also a large range of Barbie branded goods such as books, apparel, cosmetics and video games. Barbie has appeared in a series of animated films and is a supporting character in Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3.

Barbie has become a cultural icon and has been given honors that are rare in the toy world. In 1974, a section of Times Square in New York City was renamed Barbie Boulevard for a week. In 1985, the artist Andy Warhol created a painting of Barbie.

FICTIONAL BIOGRAPHY

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. In a series of novels published by Random House in the 1960s, her parents' names are given as George and Margaret Roberts from the fictional town of Willows, Wisconsin. In the Random House novels, Barbie attended Willows High School, while in the Generation Girl books, published by Golden Books in 1999, she attended the fictional Manhattan International High School in New York City (based on the real-life Stuyvesant High School^]).

She has an on-off romantic relationship with her boyfriend Ken (Ken Carson), who first appeared in 1961. A news release from Mattel in February 2004 announced that Barbie and Ken had decided to split up, but in February 2006 they were hoping to rekindle their relationship after Ken had a makeover.

Barbie has had over 40 pets including cats and dogs, horses, a panda, a lion cub, and a zebra. She has owned a wide range of vehicles, including pink Corvette convertibles, trailers, and jeeps. She also holds a pilot's license, and operates commercial airliners in addition to serving as a flight attendant. Barbie's careers are designed to show that women can take on a variety of roles in life, and the doll has been sold with a wide range of titles including Miss Astronaut Barbie (1965), Doctor Barbie (1988) and Nascar Barbie (1998).

Mattel has created a range of companions for Barbie, including Hispanic Teresa, Midge, African American Christie, and Steven (Christie's boyfriend). Barbie's siblings and cousins were also created including Skipper, Todd (Stacie's twin brother), Stacie (Todd's twin sister), Kelly, Krissy, and Francie. Barbie was friendly with Blaine, an Australian surfer, during her split with Ken in 2004.



[ INFO FROM WIKIPEDIA]

The sky was dark. The winds was cool. I was standing beside him on the top of the hill looking down the on the beach below, neither of us saying anything we just let the sound of the wind and waves tell us everything we couldn't say. it was once our music, the soundtrack of our life together, of the love we shared.

"Memories" he whispered to himself.

I completely understood what he meant. yes, I remember. this exact place have been our sanctuary, a safe haven where we ran to when we need to scape the conflicts of our lives. we've built our dreams of forever  here. this has been our own world where we are invincible. this is where we come when we can't beat our enemies, he would hold my hand and together we fight whatever it is that comes our way.

When did this friendship begin?




I don’t remember. like most stories, this one has no clearcut beginning


 
All I know is that we’ve went through time. Much time and a lot of experiences together.
This is the kind of friendship that nobody planned for, but it happened.


 
You never choose your friends they come and find that space in your life where they perfectly fit, as simple as that. And you can never ever get rid of them. To have something as strong as this is a rare thing.



Who would have thought that we used to be those kids who messed up with life itself?




When life throws punches we carelessly fought back, like we know enough about it. We pretended that we’re big enough to stand up to the world and we believed it.




Truth is, we were just kids having as much fun as we could and little by little learning about life.





 
This friendship has been a long journey with some detours and stops. But I am sure that along the way we learned things that we will never know if we hadn’t taken this trip.



In a way we became a little braver and wiser. I know, somehow we’ve grown up and we had a lot ahead of each of us.



We still do some crazy things together every once in a while but not as often as before. But with friends, time is illusion, you have one moment and you can stretch it into a lifetime of memory.




 
I’m glad to say that we all take life seriously now (are we?). we are better persons now and I’m glad I got to know them.


 
 
For me, real friendship is when they know who you really are and accept it.  It’s when life hands you lemons, they hand you a beer.  


 
It’s when life knock you down they take picture of you so that you could laugh about it someday.  It’s those times, good or bad, that you were together, simply talking. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What make a Woman Truly Beautiful?

It is easy being a Girl but it's not easy being a truly beautiful woman. It's not always how pleasantly you are dressed or how expensive your new pair of Chanel shoes are, there's more to it than those little shallow things.

In this generation, society teaches us to be vain. many people went through operations and  pills and spend a lot of money, to change how they look, to obtain A new body and to conceal aging. but let me tell you, you can never buy true beauty because you already have it. you just have to look for it within you and let it show.

Girls, remember that pretty face, that perfect skin,  that gorgeous body will not last forever, work on something that will make you more than just a pretty face.


Don't you know you're beautiful?   you just have to...

Be Confident

First step is to know that you already possess that that gorgeousness. you are exactly what God intends you to be. don't ever walk with head down girl!

Feed your mind
It’s okay to be a bookworm. Spend considerable time reading Fiction, non-fiction or my personal favorite, Classic literature. Remember, an empty head shows a hollow face. You don’t want that, do you?

Smile and shine
Whether to a stranger passing your way or to a friend having an awful day. It’s good way to start friendship and brighten up other people’s day. Plus factor is, it will brighten up your day too and you will feel better about yourself.  After all, pouting gives you wrinkles.
 
Share
Give something wonderful to the world so that the world gives you something wonderful in return. show everyone your talent. What are you good at? It may be dancing, singing, writing  etc. use that to reach out to the world. Remember, even in beauty pageants there are talent portion.

Stay healthy
You get nothing but toxic in Drinking and smoking. don’t waste your money on these things, they will just make your teeth yellow and your lips dark and your skin dry and your life short. Be careful of what goes in your body, it shows on the outside.

Speak like a lady
Talk honestly, sincerly and kindly. most people judge you by the way you communicate to them. I know some pretty girls being called a "witch" or worst, "B*****"  because they speak harshly. that's how your words affects your looks. who would want to look like a witch or worst?

Be Real
you're a human being with a heart that pumps blood. DONT BE A PLASTIC, you're not a cheap barbie doll. (Remeber beauty with substance.) Thats immature and that only shows how empty and shallow you can be. 

Dream Big and take the first step.
What do you like to be someday? work hard for it. don't give up. take every little step, you'll be surprise to wake up one day and you already get there. start up with your studies. 

Help Others
Aesop once said that "No amount of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted". Help others in every way you can. You don't have to be Princess Diana and build Charitites and orphanage, sometimes you just have to be somebody's friend.


Beauty, as we all know is both from inside and out. being beautiful is not just what shows from the outside but from what's within as well. while you are concerned on what you see when look at the mirror, make sure you do not take for granted how you look indside because that too, will reflect in your personality.

This is Mikot saying,
" Beauty with substance and pure heart is Real Beauty."

I wish you all a Beautiful life.
   XOXO.




 
 
 
 

(IN RANDOM)

Live in a lighthouse
Enter  in a law school (done)
Own at least one thousand books
Meet and marry my soulmate
See an Autumn and Winter day
Know French, Spanish, and Italian languages
Meet Aaron Carter in Real life
Writeand publish a book 
see the original MONA LISA painting
go to Europe
see the Eiffel tower
Go to the HOuse of Juliet (as in Romeo and Juliet)
Sky dive  and Time Travel
Make a documentary film
be an investigative journalist
Live in Italy for a month
take up literature in london
volunteer in Red cross










 

No matter where you fall
or if you can't stand at all
the world will turn and life goes on

It wouldn't make sense if you cry
when you failed after a million times
the sun will set,
The day will leave you wondering what happens next

though today they break you heart
still the moon will shine tonight
you can choose where to fly
but you can't choose where you'd land
because thats how the earth goes round

because you can't defy gravity
because you cant decode the stars
because you can't walk on seas
you cant go that far.

Everyone's favorite holiday is almost here. people say it's a time for love, joy and giving and time to get together with your loved ones.however, for those who are away from home, it a nostalgic season. being with our family, friends and the people we love makes christmas extra special, it's sad that not all of us have that previledge and that most of us take it for granted.

I haven't had a christmas away from home but I only had One christmas with my family complete. I know how it feels to miss somebody during this season, but what most of us doesn't know is how does it feels to be alone in one cold evening, with jolly christmas carols all around, with your family somewhere far from you, hoping, as much as you do, that you could be home.